I always thought kids were somewhat different when their parents were separated. I'm not sure why, I think I felt sorry for them. I remember thinking this often when I looked at the few girls in my primary school class that came from broken homes. At 10 or 11 when I became one of those kids my views automatically changed although I never told anyone I was 'one of those girls'.
Dad was my best friend, I loved him more than anything. I still do. When my Mum and Dad would walk through the front door I would rush past my Mum to hug my Dad. Inevitably the day I watched my Dad cry as he left was the hardest day of my life. I really, really struggled to come to terms with not having both my parents around everyday together.
My parents have now been separated for nearly ten years and although it probably took me up until the past year or two to come to terms with it and be able to openly talk about it I found it a shock when my mum informed me the other night that they are finally getting divorced. It's weird. I never ever expected them to get back together. My parents are happy with their partners. It's just weird knowing that they aren't legally bound together.
1st Corinthians 7:39 'A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord'.
It's ironic that my last blog title is about getting engaged. To be honest, I'll probably never marry. The thought of having kids and putting them through the pain of separation scares the life out of me. Marriage is taken too lightly these days. I know I'm totally wrong to have this attitude but my lack of commitment to people and things is alot to do with being scared of it coming to an end.
Divorce.
....Till death do us part?
8 comments:
Hi. My name is also Ellen Wright, and I happened upon your blog because I set up a Google Alert to look for my name to see if anyone is looking for me through the internet as I become more involved in the business community. Well, as you have it, since you have the same name, every time you put up a new blog, I get an alert. I have found myself starting to read them, because I like your blogs. My heart broke when I read this latest entry. I'm so sorry that you are struggling with your parents' divorce. I understand that they've been separated for a long time, but I think, as children, we still have a connection to that unity. And the fact of the matter is, that doesn't mean that's how your marriage will be. Having said that, I agree that people enter the bonds of marriage too lightly thinking that they can just a divorce if things get too difficult. It's great to go into marriage thinking everything through, but no marriage will be perfect. Each will have it's own issues and there will be times that both people feel like they hate each other. However, there is a way to get past that... constant communication. Open communication... I've been married for four years now, and I'm 25, so I'm still new at this, but I have already experienced both parts of this equation. If you would like to chat further you can email me at ellenwright at cox dot net.
Ellen - I found your blog via Wiggy's and thought I would take a look.
I really respect you for having the courage to share your thoughts on something that is so close to your heart.
Also, to say "I'll probably never marry" and state the reasons why were also very courageous in sharing it but it made me a bit sad. To think that anyone may not find their 'other half' because the risk is too scary to take.
I think you've shown great insight and that in its self will be the reason why you'll enter any future partnership with your eyes open.
My advice (for what its worth) is that when you find the right person, its worth the risk.
I'm a firm believer in -
"Better to love and have lost than to never have loved at all"
Sorry for the verbal diahorrea x
thank you so much to both of you for taking the time to read my thoughts, i really appreciate your comments.
Ellen, I'll email you shortly and Jan, great photos!
Wow there's a lot of depth behind that Fearne Cotton persona! Regardless, you like the boys too much to not be married to one someday!
Luv ya sister!
j
Hey Girl...thanks for your comment...i added you to my blog! I urge you to do the same!
I do trust that you shall marry some day! xxx
Ellen - thnx 4 the compliment re: the photos. My blog is normally nothing like that. I have been joining in a photo challenge for the month of March to take 1 photo each day!
Normally I am more a writer. Check some earlier stuff to see what you think.
BTW - There is some really good debating going on on Mel Wiggin's blog - Check it out! Good Stuff!
Mel Wiggins - http://www.melreynolds.blogspot.com/
P.S. Totally love and agree with the other Ellen too!
Just saw your presenting (BBC Blast). You were great! Loved the way you interviewed and mentored your co-competitor at the same time!! lol
Class!
P.S. You don't have to post this - just couldn't resist commenting!
two Ellen Wrights?? Oh my!!
Anywho, Els, It is admiring to see you be so open about what has obviously scarred you in a way. Marriage is a gift from God, its probably the closest relationship that we can have on earth that is similar to how God longs to have relationship with us. I think this was his intention when he said "its not good for man to be alone", I guess he wants us to get the whole convenent thing and experience the fullness of love as much as we can. Anyway I know that there is bound to be a crazy gorgeous guy out there that will be longing to share this precious gift with another crazy beautiful girl such as yourself.
And johns right, you do love boys too much to not be with one.
Love ya xo
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