Psalm 37 v 4

Nice job.

I love my Granda. And views.

I really love my Granda. He is brilliant. This is us looking out over Belfast in the Dome at Victoria Square.

This is the view from my Belfast Bedroom window. It's got character. I like it.





My street...




It's full of 'thin places' here.




Queens University, Belfast. Pretty sky.

Divorce

I always thought kids were somewhat different when their parents were separated. I'm not sure why, I think I felt sorry for them. I remember thinking this often when I looked at the few girls in my primary school class that came from broken homes. At 10 or 11 when I became one of those kids my views automatically changed although I never told anyone I was 'one of those girls'.

Dad was my best friend, I loved him more than anything. I still do. When my Mum and Dad would walk through the front door I would rush past my Mum to hug my Dad. Inevitably the day I watched my Dad cry as he left was the hardest day of my life. I really, really struggled to come to terms with not having both my parents around everyday together.

My parents have now been separated for nearly ten years and although it probably took me up until the past year or two to come to terms with it and be able to openly talk about it I found it a shock when my mum informed me the other night that they are finally getting divorced. It's weird. I never ever expected them to get back together. My parents are happy with their partners. It's just weird knowing that they aren't legally bound together.

1st Corinthians 7:39 'A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord'.

It's ironic that my last blog title is about getting engaged. To be honest, I'll probably never marry. The thought of having kids and putting them through the pain of separation scares the life out of me. Marriage is taken too lightly these days. I know I'm totally wrong to have this attitude but my lack of commitment to people and things is alot to do with being scared of it coming to an end.

Divorce.

....Till death do us part?

And so I'm engaged...

As you know it was a Leap year last friday so I decided I would be brave and ask my mate to marry me. He said yes. We haven't got a ring or really celebrated it but we say we're engaged so there you go!! Who would have ever thought...

Even better news, I went over to Liverpool for a Richard Fleeshman gig. A.MAZING.

This silly computer doesn't have all of my photographs on it so I'll post the one of him looking at me asap.

His mum Sue played Jackie Corkhill in Brookside. As I was hanging with her on Saturday night I casually expressed my undying love for her son. I think she liked me.

I got home very early on Sunday afternoon and was ushered straight to the BBC to record and finish links to my first ever TV series. Blast on The Box shall be on your screens in a few weeks so I will keep you updated....

Macmillan Cancer Support and Craig Jeffrey

I was just browsing through the musicial side of bebo and fell in love with this guy Craig Jeffrey.

He's Scottish singer and songwriter, and launched his first single 'Hard to Say' last September. Craig wrote the single in memory of his two grandparents who he lost due to cancer. I think it's a great testimony to them that he's stepping out and using his voice to be a voice with his beauiful lyrics. I know it's a cause close to my heart as I lost my Granny to Cancer so I will definately be supporting him.. I think we all should. He deserves it.

Check him out www.craigjeffrey.com



The proceeds of this single will be directed to Macmillan Cancer Support to help other people who have been affected by cancer.

And here's another, I love him...

Music, Singing and Flash Harry

Yes, I've been a blog slacker the past couple of months but my new resolutions not only consists of no fizzy drinks, crisps, sweets and chocolate but it's to write on this more often.

I've started to take my ability to sing alot more seriously over the past few months. I'm surprised John Mac didn't write a blog about our Live Lounge debut on Extreme FM just before christmas, ha ha. I've wrote quite a few songs now, saying that I struggle to finish them but they're a good basis for a fabulous bunch of tunes. I have a friend called Gary who not only is my modelling partner for Kim's photography projects but has a great voice and can strum the guitar so he's started coming around for 'jamming sessions'. I often get phone calls about being an acoustic support act for bands in pubs and clubs so we're preparing for that. I'm excited.

I have an uncle called Harry and he's the singer of a band called Flash Harry. They are flipping brilliant. They're a tribute for the band Queen and have been going for forever. Anyway, I was talking to the band last Thurday night at their gig in the Waterfront, I was explaining my desire to sing more and the bit of advice that's stuck out the most is to not do gig's if it's becoming a chore or a job. I think that's class that after 15 years of doing a gig or more nearly every week that they still enjoy it and aren't doing it because they need the money. My Granda Harry is probably the best for having kept up this bit of advice. He, at 75 years old still plays 4-5 gigs A WEEK. He's a Jazz Musician and can be seen each week in the Europa hotel on Saturdays between half 3 and 6. I know it's wrong to have idols but he is my biggest role model. He's a legend.

I'll keep you posted of gigs when I get booked!!!! In the meantime check out this video my housemate Roy and I made in our house... little amuses the innocent.

Random Report

Video Box Favorites

i'm not sure how this link got here, i hit something that said blogger and now it's on my profile. i don't know what i meant to do.

anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

mass

I had the unpleasant experience of attending the father of my step dad's funeral today. He's catholic and so obviously the funeral was very different to what I participate with but saying that I haven't felt closer to God in a long time than standing looking at the crucifixes, pictures, candles and people there at the service. It was a surreal feeling, somewhat of a longing to reach out and explain to those there about my faith and beliefs. It seemed to neither be the time or place though. Especially when I embarrassed myself my saying, very loudly; "For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen"

I'm struggling even more to comprehend the jist to life, death and loneliness. I don't get it. To me this seemed like an expected conclusion to my melted week as Davy was very sick. I don't have much more to say today except life is precious so roll on Foy Vance this weekend!!!!!

melted

so a few people have pointed out to me that i lied at the end of that previous blog about being 'at home in the mission field' but you know, tv presenters have to look ahead in life, and in the long run after my stint at blue peter or mtv, that's where i may end up for a duration of my life. who knows?

anyway, i have had probably the most head melting week to date and the reason?? i have no idea. this blog is purely for my own benefit to see if i understand my own head when it's in front of me on screen. journaling isn't helping as my hand gets sore. melt.

life is great, the best to be exact. my friends are too cool, my family love and support me in my dreams and there's nothing that i physically want in life. i guess i'm frustrated with why i deserve this life of happiness and following God and not one of some kid who's dying from poverty and aids in africa.

i love what our church is doing at the minute. cell last night was brilliant, steve spoke to us and really provoked my thinking. i know that this head melting, being in tension, edgy and rough state of living is what i want because i would be completely bored if i had it all sorted. i came away ready to engage and embrace with the kingdom of god as another way of teaching. (i took notes)

somehow i need to get through to myself that it's the now that matters, when it comes to life, work and boy situations i try to work out what it'll be like in 4 years. where i'll be, what i'll be doing. but i've come to the conclusion that if you live for the now then maybe eventually the now will become the future.. this makes sense in my head. i just can't express it....

how do we remember everyone's names? it's mad. my friend ben is the worst for wrecking my head, he spends alday texting me the most random unanswered questions that leave me thinking alday. i never get anywhere.

this blog is making me look like a complete wierdo but i really am just a simple girl growing up and trying to work out the best way and mind to do so....

britney spears is singing in my head now, i'm not a girl, not yet a woman la la la

the photo above makes me laugh, its me and our receptionist, carlos in tenerife, we must have took a hundred photos of us pulling faces. this one reminds me of being melted. i'm burnt

Africa 2008

Plans are all going ahead for the trip to Africa next summer. I'm so excited about being part of a team who are going out to build a secondary school in Uganda in memory of Lins. They're a couple of teams going again in the month of July. I'm not sure which one I'm going on as Joy and I are going out for about 6 weeks again to travel and visit the orphanage we worked in.

It's an exciting time planning and preparing. God has been great and has blessed us alot with the amount of money we've raised already to buy the plot of land.

Approximately 7 months until I'm back to where I feel like I belong. On the mission field....