Good Luck Chuck

No joke. I am Good Luck Chuck. For those who have seen the movie, my version is more altered. It's not who or something i aspire to be, it just happens.

I haven't had many boyfriends. I'm scared of commitment. To cut a long story short... Anytime I am romantically linked to a guy, after it comes to an end, he meets the woman of his dreams.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

I don't in anyway hold a grudge against this or I'm not annoyed that it happens. Infact I find it really funny. It just actually happens everytime. Everytime being 4 or 5 and thats since 3rd Year.

My third year boyfriend began going out with his girl a day after we called it quits, 6 years later they are still together and have a kid! Another one is still with his bird of 5 years, and one married within a year. I've knew about my reign for a while but I've decided to take it more seriously after another ones new girl wrote a song about me called 'I Loved You First' ...I knew him first but who can argue with a girl who's so dedicated to write a song about it. I take it as a thank you.

I reckon there should be some award for my good work to society.

Birthdays!!

And so it's that time of year again, my favourite.. birthday season! For those who know me well know that I love my family and particularly my brothers more than anything so to share my birthday in the same week as my nephew and one of my younger brothers is a privilege. It was my nephew Marks on Monday 21st, he's a whole 64 hours older than me. Yes, older! And Sam's 16th was yesterday, I can not believe he'll be learning to drive in a year. And mine is today. I am 20 years old. I'm old. Half of 40. Nightmare.

For some reason I didn't tell anyone it's my birthday today. I usually keep reminding people for at least a month before and reading back to last years blog on my birthday I was so ready for that 19 milestone but 20, that's a different story.. I guess in not telling people I thought I was putting it off.

I just looked through photos of Sams 14th and my 18th, o how we have changed! Time scares me, alot.

This is Sam and I celebrating both our birthdays at 12AM this morning. He is no longer a boy, he's a man.

Sam thought the jam in his cake was red sauce. I laughed alot. I love this photo.

We pose...

X Factor Auditions

I'm meant to be in Manchester participating in an X Factor Audition last weekend. I got the letter through a couple of weeks ago not knowing who had rang up the contestant hot line to enter me, later finding out it was my housemate. Nice thought.

The guy I sing and do gigs with, Gary, is over there now, I feel bad I didn't accompany him. He's got through the first stage, off to perform in front of the judges next! He's a great singer and guitar player. He deserves to go far, especially after going to the auditions last year but turning up a day late after I told him the wrong day. I know, I know. I still feel bad.

I absolutely love the auditions, My Saturday nights are a no-go out when they are on. Why people who blatantly can't sing go on to humilate themselves is beyond me. It is hilarious. So heres to Gary and Saturday nights in from September on...

Pin 2003-2008

It's a sad day. I've literally just found my pet fish Pin dead. I'm gutted.

My housemate Roy text me when he got in very late on monday night and said, 'Your fish is dead.' No remorse or anything, I thought he was joking. I feel a strong sense of neglect because it has taken me until now to find him floating in a plastic cup beside the remaining 3 fish in the 122 household. Actually gutted.

Pin has been with me since the summer of 2003. I remember it clearly, Joy, Carly, Lynsey and I were all working in a wee cafe in Lurgan and this particular day when we all finshed at the same time we decided to head to Jolly's pet shop to purchase new friends. The girls weren't very lucky with their fish as they all died within a few months but Pin was a trooper.

I'll treasure those sleepless nights when I used to watch him swimming about his bowl, wondering what he's thinking about in those 3 or 4 seconds before he'd forget. He will be missed. I'm off to flush him down the toilet while singing The Little Mermaid, Under the Sea.

Benedictine Monks

I had, if not the, one of the best days ever on Monday with Indya and Josh.

Josh is our American mate who lives and works in Germany. We met him over a year and a half ago when Indya, Laura, Drew, Joey and I went over to Brussels for the weekend. He's great. He works in a very difficult job where there's not many christians around but yet his faith in God and belief that he's there for a reason is inspiring. He loves the emerald isle and has been over about 4 times since we first met. I especially love it when he comes because not only do I get to catch up with him again but he brings us 4 (Laura, Indya and Drew) back together again and that is nice.

Josh has been interested in the Benedictine Monks for a while and had planned on going to visit them while he was over. I tagged along. It was amazing. Their lives are far from what we would conclude as normal. We met with Brother Thierry who came over from France to live in the retreat many years ago. He told us about their day to day lives which consist of 5 set praying times, that in itself I find impossible. Josh asked the important questions like 'how do you feel your mission in moving over here for God is coming along?'. Where as I asked if he ever goes out for dinner... I forgot to ask if I could have a robe. He said some fantastic things. One thing stuck out when I asked him if he gets annoyed or impatient with all the visitors to his home he responded by saying, 'We wish to treat everyone like Jesus, when people come we welcome them and bring them into our lives. They are just like Jesus'.

I was very humbled by that. So much I didn't feel worthy of being there.

We left Rostrevor we went to Kilbrony and climbed to the big rock that over looks, Warrenpoint, Carlingford and the Mournes. I always feel like I need to whisper at the top of mountains. It's a great feeling.

We then drove to Cranfield and I made a 2008 comeback. I always, always remember the first day I go back in a new year or new caravan season. I love it so much. Cranfield has been my summer home since I was two and like I've said before is responsible for alot of my life changing experiences so will always hold a special place in my heart. We went for lunch in the famous port-o-call in Kilkeel before driving to Newcastle for a mint chocolate chip ice cream from Mauds and a walk along the promenade.

With it only being 2:30pm and I didn't have to be in Belfast for work until half 5 we decided to head to Tullymore Forest Park outside Newcastle for a walk, which turned into a two hour mission of finding our way out and being late! I couldn't believe I hadn't been there before.

I never have days like last Monday. For those who know me, know I'm always busy and never have time to just chill. it's not good. My Mum says I make people feel busy and rushed when I'm around them. I need to sort that out. I love being with Indya, she is the most chilled girl. I feel relaxed around her. Everyone, absolutely everyone need an Indian (Indya) in their lives. She is the best.

About more...

I feel like I've been 'about more' and I like it.

I am actually shocked it's April already and I'll soon officially no longer be a teenager as I approach the tender age of twenty. This year, or since september, my world has been totally hectic and I think I've got caught up too much in my career and dreams to appreciate the people and the reason I am where I am today. God has blessed me abundantly. My family have supported me when no one believed in me and I couldn't be happier. The past month I've been about Lurgan more, I've loved it. I haven't intentionally been away and I do see my family every week but returning to church after a month with everyone asking where I've been makes me feel like I was missing for alot longer. These past few weeks have made me appreciate my home town more. I have always appreciated where I've came from but I now realise it's where I get my energy from. The people, my family, my church. I'm so lucky to come from such a close knit community.

Belfast is great, but it's not for me. I've come to the conclusion were I either have to be at home home or far away from home. Belfast is in the middle so it doesn't work. That sounds strange but I've decided from September I'm moving back home to Lurgan to save for my big move to London in Summer 2009. I can not wait. If my internship with MTV doesn't pan out, GMTV are looking for Presenters, how exciting.


I just got confirmation that Europe are taking our radio show. It's so strange to think that 690,000,000 (...yes that is million) people have access to a one hour music show I present. I LOVE IT. The website is going under some construction so as soon as it's sorted I'll post it up for you all to have a listen...

It's now into single digits until Lynsey and Grant's big day, 9 weeks!! ...It's probably wrong to say I'm more excited than anybody but I am. We went for another dress fitting through the week and as we were waiting for another bridal party to leave we got talking about Lindsay Emerson and how it's so surreal that it's nearly a year since she passed away. Their wedding day will be strange without her. I remember her wanting to plan Lynseys hen weekend straight away. She was so excited so be bridesmaid. Although she won't be there, Lins will definitely be a big part of the day.

God is working on me alot these days. I can't express in words what he's doing but it's great and I'm very happy.

11 and a half weeks to Uganda and 17 weeks until Canada and America, o yes!!

Happy Tuesday Everyone xo